Oedipus News Service
Today, in a press release, the Hillary for President campaign stated that if elected president, Hillary would have testicular implants surgically implanted, to give her the "look" and "feel" of what the big boys carry.
The HRC spokesperson, "Buddy" Clinton, said it would be a great way for the new president to appear on the world stage as packing a "huge" pair, which would dispel any talk of the Oval Office suffering emasculation from having a female as president.
"These synthetic gonads would put the first female president of the U.S. in the same league with other world leaders, who often engage in measuring contests to prove to one another who's packing the biggest pair", said Buddy.
"They have been used for years and years to improve the quality of life for neutered canines and since Hillary has been referred to more than once as the "female" variety of caninus, having this male enhancement product hanging low on what might be the next president has to be a plus", said Dr. Richard Holder, staff veterinarian for Hillary.
Neuticles, the company that first developed and marketed the prosthetic devices and has seen them successfully implanted in not only dogs, but water buffalos, said they would be delighted to design and make a custom pair specifically for Hillary.
Their spokesperson further said that they would probably avoid using silicone, which is typically used and opt to use some form of stainless steel.
"We want the first female president to have a slight, metallic clanging sound when she walks, to help let any would be terrorists think twice before taking on Hillary" said Monica Bollocks, Neuticles spokesperson.
This reporter was unable to get a comment from Bill Clinton, due to Mr. Clinton being in a meating with a female staffer.
Reporting from the campaign trail, this is Harry S. Balls in Mena, Arkansas
Fair Use Notice
This web site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance the understanding of humanity's problems and hopefully to help find solutions for those problems. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. A click on a hyperlink is a request for information. Consistent with this notice you are welcome to make 'fair use' of anything you find on this web site. However, if you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. You can read more about 'fair use' and US Copyright Law at the Legal Information Institute of Cornell Law School. This notice was modified from a similar notice at Information Clearing House.
- ► 2016 (169)
- ► 2015 (218)
- ► 2014 (207)
- ► 2013 (323)
- ► 2012 (187)
- ► 2011 (277)
- ► 2010 (375)
- ► 2009 (423)
- MOSSAD Studios seeking an actor to portray Bin Lad...
- "Baghdad must be destroyed" and other lies from th...
- Israel: Founded on Terror
- Feds to appeal ruling in AIPAC Treason Case
- Israel threatens the U.S. with another 9/11 attack...
- CNN's Heartless Pseduo-Journalist Kyra Phillips
- CUFI's annual "Howl at the Moon for Israel" Confer...
- Holocaust™ Reparations form for retrieving MONEY
- The Thief in the House
- Al Kaida means toilet and other fun facts about Al...
- White House announces release of another Bin Laden...
- U.S.: 135% of the foreign fighters in Iraq come fr...
- BUSHCO sacks Centcom Commander Fallon; Iran War ba...
- Review finds no link between Saddam, al Qaeda
- Bush/Cheney Junta threatens to sic MOSSAD/CIA asse...
- Israeli troops loot food, clothes, furniture, equi...
- Israeli Terrorist Acts... Short List
- Hillary vows to have synthetic gonads implanted if...
- Netanyahu gives marching orders to US Congress
- 44 Million USD for the Holocaust Museum; 200K and ...
- ▼ March (20)