Those interested in getting in on this lucrative enterprise, need to fill out the questionnaire below and forward it to your local synagogue ASAP.
Sample form for Holocaust™ claims:
1. Are you Jewish?
2. Do you want to be Jewish?
3. Do you like money?
4. Do you want more money?
5. Do you think the world owes you a living?
6. Are you allergic to physical labor?
7. Do you think a relative might have been around during WW II?
8. Do you want to cash in on that possibility?
9. Are you willing to make up stories to support your claim?
10. Do you love Israel?
11. Are you willing to donate at least 10% of your claimed money to Israel?
12. Will you vote the way we tell you to in elections?
13. Do you want us to file claims against countries that had nothing to do with your alleged hurts?
14. Will you donate some of that money back to Israel?
15. Do you have an insane hatred of anything related to the words Muslim, Arab or Palestinian?
16. Is your god Mammon?
17. Do you believe that the GOY are dumb, stupid animals?
18. Do you worship gold?
19. Do you love Alan Dershowitz and Norman Podhoretz?
20. Do you believe that the most moral army in the world, the IDF, has been too gentle on the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip?
Note: Only those forms which have answered every question with a YES will be considered for further review.
If you have answered NO to any of the questions, your Holocaust™ claim will not go forward.
If you fail to qualify for this round of Holocaust™ reparations, more rounds are scheduled for each and every year from now until the year 2050.
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