Friday, August 15, 2008

Brad Pitt to star in "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em" movie about Jewish WW II Heroes

Let's see, we'll need a masculine sounding title to draw in the "Rambo" wannabes and "Terminator" fans.. Mmmm. How about "Hasidic Hellfighters? Nahh, too obvious.

Hmm. I know!! "Bagel Force One." Nope, too distracting.... Hey, how about "Inglorious Bastards!!!" Yeah,we've got a winner

Act I: There's a battalion of Hitler's best Waffen SS commandos breaking thru the Allied lines, threatening to turn the tide of WW II in Germany's favor and Sgt. Schlomo knows that if that happens, the entire Judeo-Christian world will succumb to those mean and nasty Nazis. Schlomo tells the leader of the Allied forces in Europe, General Moshe, that he wants to volunteer for a suicide mission behind enemy lines to turn back the German onslaught. Schlomo tells the General that since the Allies are short on ammo, that all he needs to perform his mission is his combat knife and brass knuckles.

Act II: The camera zooms in on Sgt. Schlomo, already engaged in a furious battle with the battalion of Hitler's hand picked commandos. Schlomo's deftly carving up the entire brigade, using the same knife wielding skills Schlomo used when he performed at numerous bris as a Rabbi in Brooklyn.

But, Sgt. Schlomo's knife breaks and he's still got a couple of squads of Germans to dispatch. Schlomo whips out his trusty brass knuckles and starts cracking open German skulls till he's mortally wounded.

Act III. The mission is completed and the entire German Army has been laid to waste by the brave and courageous actions of Schlomo, but alas, in the process, the 78 bullet wounds he's received have left him all but dead.

But Schlomo dies with a smile on his face, knowing that his courage above and beyond the call of duty has won WW II and saved the Judeo-Christian world for the likes of his successors, like Abe Foxman and Adam Pearlmann.

Closing scene. Have the sun that will rise over the battle scene to be in the shape of the Star of David.

The End.

Brad Pitt becomes Jewish hillbilly in new Tarantino film

By Olivia Wiznitzer, The Forward

He's been a casino hound, a secret agent and an incredibly sexy Greek warrior, but now Brad Pitt can add a completely new role to his repertoire: an American-Jewish hillbilly from Tennessee.

Pitt has signed on to play Aldo, aka "Aldo the Apache," in Quentin Tarantino's upcoming World War II film, "Inglorious Bastards," about a handpicked group of American-Jewish soldiers who kill Nazis in brutal and violent ways in order to undermine the Third Reich. Pitt's character has "the Apache" moniker due to his signature move of scalping Nazi soldiers.

According to Entertainment Weekly, the film features "vintage Tarantino moments," such as "the director's now-classic use of the Mexican standoff, in which multiple characters are at an impasse pointing guns at each other."

While the screenplay is not perfect, "even the mistakes are entertaining," said one insider who read the script.

The cast also includes Simon Pegg, Eli Roth and B.J. Novak. Rumor has it that Tarantino is in talks with David Krumholtz and German actress Nastassja Kinski.

The movie is mostly in French and German, with subtitles, but Pitt will perform his role in English. The film is slated for release in June 2009.

Jewish fighters in the Holocaust is the subject of another upcoming blockbuster, Defiance, which stars the current James Bond, Daniel Craig, as Jewish partisan Tuviel Bielski.

Bielski? Now that name rings a BELL, as in Aron Bell. What's that saying about trying to change a leopard's spots?

Partisan hero accused of kidnapping 'scam'

As a young Polish orphan during the Second World War, Aharon Bielski and his three older brothers fled the Nazis and set up a remarkable secret village deep in a Belarus forest that became a refuge for 1,200 Jews.

The Bielski Partisans waged a campaign of armed resistance against the occupying forces while providing a refuge for the old and the weak who fled the massacres of Novogrudok. Their tale of courage is to be made into a film entitled Defiance, set for release next year and starring Daniel Craig, Jamie Bell, Liev Schreiber and 15-year-old British actor George MacKay as the brothers, and directed by Edward Zwick.

But the last surviving member of the band of brothers was in a Florida jail last night charged with a crime far removed from his wartime heroics. As Aron Bell, the name Bielski chose when he moved to the US in 1951, the 80-year-old and his wife Henryka stand accused of a bizarre plot - kidnapping their neighbour, Janina Zaniewska, 93, putting her in a nursing home in a remote area of Poland and stealing her life savings of $300,000.

Does this brainwashing never end? Ooops stupid question. It never ends, that's why it's called brainwashing

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