Saturday, April 18, 2009

AIPAC issues guidelines for US Congress

For our upcoming "Israel is the most peaceful nation on the Earth" seminar, to be held in Washington, DC May 3-5, 2009, AIPAC has issued the following correct protocols for those Senators and Reps that will be attending one of our many functions in DC. Those that choose not to, will be risking career suicide.

A typical session will be like this "Gala Banquet" that is to be held Sunday evening, May 4.
Senate Majority Whip Richard Durbin (D-IL), Republican Whip Jon Kyl (R-AZ), House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and House Republican Whip Eric Cantor (R-VA) join hundreds of their congressional colleagues, foreign dignitaries and activists from across the country in celebrating the U.S.-Israel alliance.

The following day, Senator John "LIPS" Kerry, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, will be given a special one on one session behind closed doors.

Our most favorite Capitol Hill "HO," Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, is due to shed her skin that week and will not be able to attend.
And we are saddeded to accept former U.N. ambassador John Bolton's regrets that he will not be able to attend, since the honorable ambassador is recovering from anaphylactic shock, due to Mr. Bolton swallowing some of his own foam.

Our, oops, I mean "your" president, that Schwarz Obama, will be there in the person of MOSSAD agent Rahm Emanuel, Obama's Chief of Staff.

Upon entering the event, US Senators and Representatives will receive ONE complimentary Holocaust™ by DKNY gift bag, containing the following:

One tub of KY Jelly

One set of industrial strength knee pads and

One large box of tissues (For help in wiping off those unseemly white spots that get splattered on your face!)

Senators and Reps are reminded that in case of rectal tearing, AIPAC is not responsible for medical care.

And please, maintian protocol. The knee pads are not to be used for begging for money and attention.

The pads are to be used to help "facilitate" one on one action with your favorite Jewish idol.

Remember to celebrate AIPAC's theme that Israel is the world's most peaceful nation.... or ELSE!



  1. Yo, funny stuff, dude! I love it! Where did you find the last picture? The gleaming-eyed "nut" look on the Jew at the right is perfect.

    Anyway, I'm writing to bring you more shits and giggles. Perhaps you aren't aware of the online version of the 1906 Jewish Encyclopedia ( edited by Isidore Singer and written by a huge number of usually Jewish scholars. It's an amazing resource, and a time capsule of a period when Jews were a lot less arrogant and devious than they are now. It's incredible that it was only 100 years ago.

    For example, in the 'Insanity' article, written by four Jews, you get doozies like this:

    under 'Insanity':
    "Among the Jews the proportion of insane has been observed to be very large. From statistics collected by Buschan he concludes that they are four to six times more liable to mental disease than are non-Jews. Lombroso quotes Servi ("Gli Israeliti di Europa," 1872) to the effect that in Italy there is one insane among 391 Jews, nearly four times as many as among the Catholic population of that country. Verga ("Archivio di Statistico," 1880) shows that in 1870 there was one insane among 1,775 Catholics in Italy, while with the Jews it reached the alarming proportion of one insane in 384 of population. A similar phenomenon has been observed in other countries. In the various provinces of Germany and also in Denmark the percentage of Jewish insane is very large, as is seen from the figures in the appended table...

    "As is the case with all the physical, mental, and intellectual traits of the Jews, consanguineous marriages (INBREEDING!) have been considered a cause of a great part of the insanity among them. The Jews, it is well known, are very neurotic, as is manifested by the frequency of various nervous affections among them; and the marriage of relatives who are affected by a neurotic taint has been positively proved to be detrimental to the succeeding generation. In one generation the neuropathy may manifest itself as hysteria; in another, as some organic or functional nervous affection, then as insanity, etc. The chances of thus perpetuating the nervous strain in families by consanguineous marriages are therefore greater among Jews than among peoples in whom nervous diseases are less frequent.

    ha ha ha! Remember this the next time the Gatekeeper accuses you of screwing your daughter!

  2. Looks like insanity is part of the Ashkenazi DNA.

    No wonder those immigrant Hasidic Jews love to rampage, murder, rape and steal their way across the West Bank.


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