It's another MALLOCAUST and this time, at least six million customers will stop shopping at Banana Republic, Zale's and Starbucks and other trendy mall outlets, due to a pinched wallet.
Contacted for comment on this MALLOCAUST, the corpulent Abe Fartman, head of the ADL --Another Damn Lie--interrupted his 18 course meal to say "This is another blatant form of "anti-Shoppism" and we in the Jewish community won't tolerate more barbs directed at the kind, loving, generous and peace loving Jews of Israel," said Abe, before diving back into a huge pork roast.
After being given a script by the Lobby, the Obama administration leaped into action, sending VP Joe "I'm a Zionist" Biden into action. The Veep stated that "Americans need to rally around our good friends in the mass consumerism business so that the world will never see another MALLOCAUST!"
This MALLOCAUST has even spread into Canada, with the Canadian Jewish Congress offering free yarmulkes to anyone wishing to show solidarity with the MALLOCAUST by donating large sums of money for shopper reparations.
At the time of this press release, it could not be confirmed that several hundred mall shoppers, on a ship bound for New York to do some serious shopping and see their rhinoplasty surgeons, were turned back by the US Coast Guard.