Thursday, April 2, 2009

Pentagon Spokesman: "We've found Osama Bin Laden!"

Pentagon Briefing Room-Washington, D.C.

At a hastily called news conference today, Pentagon spokesperson Rollo Tamasi was almost jubilant as he announced that the Ames Brigade, one of the special combat teams assigned to track Osama Bin Laden, had cornered the much sought after 9/11 terrorist in a tribal region of South Yemem.

"We've finally uncovered him" said Tamasi, "And this time, he's not going to escape our grasp, like he did at Tora Bora in the Fall of 2001, we'll dig him out no matter what."

Despite reports in numerous right wing publications that tried to place Bin Laden in Iran, the Pentagon said that had been a diversion to fool Bin Laden into resting peacefully.

Tamasi didn't offer much in the way of details, except to state that a highly trained Special Forces Group out of Ft. Bragg, nicknamed the "Backhoe Brigade," would be deployed to Yemen to finish digging out Bin Laden.

Picture of Bin Laden's final Yemeni hiding place.


Contacted for comment, new Israeli PM "Bib" Netanyahu, who had predicted the 9/11 attacks on the WTC, said it was good for America, but not so good for Israel.


Anonymous said...

"Go ahead Israel bomb Iran, quit talking shit and do it. Then you'll have a United Arab cause to bomb the shit out of you. These are'nt unarmed Gazan's but people able to defend themselves, you'll get more then you bargined for.

"Israel and the Jews are the Blood Sucking Parasites of Mankind" the sooner they're gone the better the World will be!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

All wealthy Jews are pathological liars.See this 80's CBC documentary called Canada Park (in Israel) Pay attention to the park manager and the Israel airfarce pilot--pure scumbags :^(

Anonymous said...

israel (not capitilized) is the devil, simple.

i couldn't care less if they were nuked off the earth

Anonymous said...

You morons posting obviously are severely under-educated and know nothing of the history of Israel (CAPITALIZED) They were LEGALLY given rights to land twice the size of what they are today and slowly have been reduced to what they are now. Go ahead and keep on calling for their destruction and surely you shall reap the consequences. Poor, poor you, you have absolutely no idea what the world is in for. The palestinians and the rest of the arab world are nothing but a bunch of sand monkeys with one agenda. To die?!?! Wow, if that's the agenda you aspire to be a part of then you have even less common sense than I had given credit. Psshhh, dumbasses... If you were my neighbor i'd put you out of your pathetic misery... click, click, boom!

Anonymous said...

I agree! Two questions. Use common sense here now. If the jews were wiped off the face of the earth would the world problems really be solved? Say for instance racism, the potential war between Japan and N. Korea, global warming, or perhaps aids and global starvation? How much sense do you make!? Idiot. And my second question, it was said "all wealthy jews are pathological liars". I highly doubt that you know every single wealthy jew that exists in the world. Another idiotic statement. Actually one last question, "israel is the devil" I really doubt you know the devil much less have physically seen the devil to be such an authority on who the devil is. With people like you guys making such idiotic statements I shall feel like a genius for the rest of the day!

Paul said...

Legally? You call that "legal"? I suppose its "legal" when you scheme to have your own kind define "legal". The farce of Israel's "legality pales behind the shadow of Israel's and Judaism's complete absence of morality.

Anonymous said...

I call it legal when it's a definition set forth by the United Nations General Counsel. I sure thought that was legal. Geez did I miss something here? By the way Israel and Judaism are two completely different things. There are MANY Israeli muslims residing in Israel and beyond that the majority of Israeli's are not practicing Judaism. Two different subjects. Let's face it though, morality is subjective. Afterall radical muslims consider themselves moral when they accomplish their suicide bombings. That's not my definition of morality. My point being overall however is that while not blameless themselves for immoral acts (the Israeli's) it's a shame that there is never blame placed on ANYBODY else except Israel. I find something wrong with that.

Miguel Grande said...

I think you miss the point, there is no such thing as Israel, its called Palestine. Like the Soviet Union, Israel will cease to exist. The NeoCons, Goldman Sachs and Bernie Madoff have killed the Golden Cow (USA), they sucked too much blood and cardiac arrest has begun. The Zionists will dance in the street at their success until they realize that they have stolen our paper only. The worm has turned and the sleeping giant will re-awaken and wipe the blindfold off its eyes. The Hezbollah will see that Zion is alone and they will invade and slay the cancerous parasite.

Anonymous said...

You're an idiot Miguel. The only thing you did was waste my time for reading what you wrote. You can speak with symbolism all you want and make it sound gayly pretty but what you say makes no sense in the real world. What you've said amounts to nothing but a pile of fresh turds.

AntiApartheid said...

You talk about legality when it fits your cause. What about all the resolutions by the UN that apartheid israel have ignored? Typical....

Anonymous said...

All the talk about legalities, by what authority does the UN have any authority? Was it created by a world wide referendum of all of the people on the planet with a franchise to vote? Thereby granting authority by consent of the will of the people or is it just another elitist paper mache creation with no accountability to an electorate? Therefore it has no democratic authority. So what authority does it have. Can anyone answer that?

Anonymous said...

"The thesis that the danger of genocide was hanging over us in June 1967 and that Israel was fighting for its physical existence is only bluff, which was born and developed after the war." Israeli General Matityahu Peled, Ha'aretz, 19 March 1972.
David Ben Gurion (the first Israeli Prime Minister): "If I were an Arab leader, I would never sign an agreement with Israel. It is normal; we have taken their country. It is true God promised it to us, but how could that interest them? Our God is not theirs. There has been Anti - Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their fault ? They see but one thing: we have come and we have stolen their country. Why would they accept that?" Quoted by Nahum Goldmann in Le Paraddoxe Juif (The Jewish Paradox), pp121.
Ben Gurion also warned in 1948 : "We must do everything to insure they ( the Palestinians) never do return." Assuring his fellow Zionists that Palestinians will never come back to their homes. "The old will die and the young will forget."
"We have to kill all the Palestinians unless they are resigned to live here as slaves." Chairman Heilbrun of the Committee for the Re-election of General Shlomo Lahat, the mayor of Tel Aviv, October 1983.
"Every time we do something you tell me America will do this and will do that . . . I want to tell you something very clear: Don't worry about American pressure on Israel. We, the Jewish people, control America, and the Americans know it." - Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, October 3, 2001, to Shimon Peres, as reported on Kol Yisrael radio.

Greg Bacon said...

They were LEGALLY given rights to land twice the size of what they are today and slowly have been reduced to what they are now

Legally given? WRONG. The UN had no statutory authority to create a nation, but due to corruption and heavy-handed tactics by the US and Britian, Israel was given 55% percent of Palestine, leaving the indigenous Palestinians with 45%.

The immigrant Jews went on a killing and stealing spree, butchering Palestinians and stealing their land till the present day.

Israel now controls around 80% of Palestine and has turned what's left of Palestine in a fractured apartheid state in the West Bank and into a giant prison in Gaza.

Israel will keep killing and stealing even more of the Palestinians land until they are either dead or have been chased into Egypt.

Look up the term "Eretz Israel" to get an idea of how much of the ME Israel wants to steal.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how you all can say that the U.N. had no authority to declare Israel a nation when the P.L.O. proclaimed a "state of Palestine" in 1988 based on U.N. RESOLUTIONS 242 and 383 and that's perfectly ok and recognizable. A bit of a double standard? It's the SAME THING! And why are the Israeli's so hated for "taking" palestinian land when Egypt issued a decree to annul the palestinian gov't in 1959 and took portions of the Gaza strip?? Portions in the past have also been taken by Jordan. But nooooo let's not bring them up, just Israel. Trust me, i'm open to hearing both sides everybody on here is so close minded that only Israel can do wrong when in reality EVERYBODY has done wrong.

Greg Bacon said...

only Israel can do wrong when in reality EVERYBODY has done wrong.

Good point. But I'm sticking by my original thesis, that it's Israel that is behind most of the grief, murder and terror in the ME.

Just look at your new whack job PM. Netanyahu, who said 9/11 was good for Israel and your new whack job FM, Lieberman, who's a corrupt, murderous bigot who would love to murder the rest of the indigenous Palestinians.

Voted into office by Israeli's.

Guess racists, bigots, war mongers, liars and land thieves stick together, huh?

No distracting comments about Darfur and Sudan?

Maybe the fact that ISRAEL is supporting the rebels took all the wind out of that sail.

Hey, I know!!!! How about another 9/11?

Anonymous said...

Still most of my points weren't addressed. Maybe because i'm right and they make sense?

Greg Bacon said...

P.L.O. proclaimed a "state of Palestine" in 1988 based on U.N. RESOLUTIONS 242 and 383 and that's perfectly ok and recognizable.

Having the PLO issue a decreee "wishing" for a state of Palestine and having a world-wide authority, such as the UN, mandate a state of Israel are so different from one another it wasn't worth being addressed.

One is a wish, the other a reality.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so you agree with my original point then. As you've stated yourself the UN is a world wide authority, how then is it illegal for the state of Israel to exist when it's been mandated by a "world-wide authority, such as the UN". How can they in your words "steal" what was already given to them? Everybody looks at UN mandates as legal only until it comes to the subject of Israel. Yes, this is a reality. I don't know what it is about people that have so much support for a people that advocate strapping on bombs and blowing people up. Atleast Israeli's will shoot in the streets and from the air rather than using women and children "for the cause". "Yes my young Palestinian boy put on the backpack, boy: well wait what's in it it's kind of heavy. Man: don't worry my young son soon you will see and the rest of the world, just walk into that crowded market and i'll push the button er, uh, I mean i'll take care of the rest. And i'll be sure to hand deliver those 10 thousand Iranian dollars to your family for your service..." Right and wrong sure has changed since I was a kid.

PS. I do like the post however about Massa and his G-20 posse though it was great.

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