Sunday, August 2, 2009

Israel's richest woman says she receives clairvoyant messages

By Haaretz

Israel's richest woman, Bank Hapoalim Chief Shari Arison is apparently receiving a great deal of advice from what appear to be celestial sources.

"For many years I have received messages. You can call it clairvoyance", Arison told interviewer Emmanuel Rosen last week.

"I received a premonition that there would be a financial crisis; that people will begin to lose their minds. And we see this. More and more people are going crazy," Arison added.

Bank Hapoalim Chief Shari Arison dialing up advice from the beyond


Arison said that one of her more reliable 'advisors' she channeled was nicknamed 'MADOFF.' "MADOFF was so right on in directing me to those bearer bonds on a weekly basis, hidden inside that diplomatic pouch from the New York Israeli Embassy. He's so dependable, but lately, I can't reach MADOFF and I sense a wall of concrete and steel between him and me."

"Another celestial adviser I nicknamed 'BERNANKE.' Gosh, he wasn't as timely as MADOFF with those bearer bonds, but when 'BERNANKE' did deliver on his lucrative advice, it was worth hundreds of billions," said Arison. She added, "BERNANKE knew where to reach out in the Cosmos and find that loot and directed me and the Bank Hapoalim to the exact spot where we could pick it up, usually in offshore banking havens controlled by another Israeli bank, Bank Leumi."

"But I sense he is getting uncomfortable, for some reason and is wanting, for now, to cut off our weekly sessions. But that shouldn't be a big problem, since there are others in that portion of the Cosmos more than willing to give me advice and tons of money," said Arison.

Right before she started laughing so hard she couldn't talk, Arison said "Those stupid GOYIM never learn, do they?"

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