Thursday, September 17, 2009

FOR SALE: Enriched Uranium, Weapons Grade!

For sale to the highest bidder, some of the finest weapons grade enriched uranium around! Made it in my backyard, right next to my whiskey still. Guaranteed to be 100 proof, oops, I mean 93% enriched, some of the finest fissile material around that will give you the BIGGEST bang for your buck!

Better hurry, since I already have two bidders that seem anxious to acquire the stuff. One bidder sent some folks from a nuclear weapons complex called 'Dimona,' wherever the hell that is and offered more than my asking price, but it was in shekels. Told them nope, it has to be in gold, so they said they'd have to visit some friends in New York that had a supply of gold in RESERVE sitting in some FEDERAL bank that they had unlimited access to. The guy doing the talking, Shimon, seemed a bit shifty, but as long as they come up with the gold...

The other bidder is from some place called 'Blackwater?' Damned if I know where that country is, but they insist they're for real and are VERY interested in buying my stock. The guy I talked to was a real PRINCE of a guy and said he'd just spent a lot of his cash buying his way out of some trumped out charges, but that he had plenty of cash sitting in some offshore banks and an unlimited line of credit from the Pentagon.

Told him that it had to be gold, so that's where it's at.

Any other of you folks out there that wish to buy this 45 kilos of weapons grade uranium for only $25 million, better get your bid in soon!

1 comment:

Darren said...

fucky yoo you terrorist piece of shit go suck your boyfriends dick! im going to light you on fire and slowly pull your intestins out of your ass, then i will run your ass over in my john deere tractor from 1983 then i will rape and kill your family starting with your third cousins dog rumple stilskin. i hope you fucking die of aids you arent even worth my time, have an amazing night ;)

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