Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Job Openings in the Obama White House

JOB TITLE----------------------DESCRIPTION

TRICKSTER: This job entails feeding misleading statements, falsehoods, outright lies and subterfuges to the always gullible American media. You will be required to hold 'press' conferences to sell your disinfo to a fawning corp of barely literate 'journalists.'
You should be able to lie with a straight face and not let your body language give away the fact that you just sold a load of BS to CNN and FOX media reps.

BAGMAN: This job requires someone with excellent upper body strength, as you will be lugging 100+ pound bags filled with cash, fresh from Wall Street. You will need to make the New York-DC trip at least twice a week.
You should have a bland, vague appearance, with no outstanding facial scars or tattoos, since you need to be able to blend into a crowd.

SABOTEUR: This job will require you to engage in 'wet work' against our enemies, both real and perceived. You will need to 'take out' those who may cause trouble, using any and all means necessary. You MUST have an excellent understanding of avionics, timers and untraceable explosives.

FALSE-FLAG EXPERT: This job is not for the weak of mind or heart, but the pay is excellent! You must work well with others who will assist you in staging these events to help the WH sell its foreign policy. Reading and speaking Yiddish is a MUST.
Regardless of background or training, the selected candidates must attend Dick Cheney's intensive six-week course, "9/11: What we learned and knew before, during and after!"

Expected luminaries that will be teaching this course will be Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowtiz, Ehud Barak and of course, Mr. Cheney. Israeli PM Netanyahu, due to time constraints, will not teach in person, but will instruct thru video conferencing.

If you think you have what it takes to join our team, contact us today!

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