Thursday, January 28, 2010

Grand Canyon and Yellowstone put up for sale by feds on EBay

Washington--The Interior Department announced today that keeping in line with President Obama's spending freeze, the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone, two of the most beloved national parks in America, will be put up for sale on EBay.

"We think this is a win-win situation for everyone", said Ken Salazar the president's Secretary of the Interior. He further stated that the federal government would no longer need to support these aging relics and that the money received on the sale would go immediately to paying off our debt to the Federal Reserve.

"Besides, Americans won't actually lose these icons, as there will be a virtual simulation of both put on the Internet to visit and view anytime you want. For a nominal fee, of course."

Salazar said that critics of this sale were unpatriotic and would rather see these parks become training grounds for al Qaeda of North America (AQNA™).

The latest bidding has two groups in the lead. One is led by 'Sir' Rupert Murdoch of FOX News and the other, by the billionaire Israeli Lev Leviev, the Israeli diamond magnate. Insiders predict that Leviev will be the winner, due to his blood diamonds wealth and his lucrative connections to China's intelligence apparatus.

In other Washington news, President Obama is asking Congress for another 64 billion in supplemental funding for the next four months for the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Yemen.

What Should We Make of Obama's "Spending Freeze"

Catherine Austin Fitts - former managing director of a Wall Street investment bank and Assistant Secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) under President George Bush Sr. - calls what is happening to the economy "a criminal leveraged buyout of America," something she defines as "buying a country for cheap with its own money and then jacking up the rents and fees to steal the rest." She also calls it the "American Tapeworm" model, explaining:
[T]he American Tapeworm model is to simply finance the federal deficit through warfare, currency exports, Treasury and federal credit borrowing and cutbacks in domestic "discretionary" spending .... This will then place local municipalities and local leadership in a highly vulnerable position - one that will allow them to be persuaded with bogus but high-minded sounding arguments to further cut resources. Then, to "preserve bond ratings and the rights of creditors," our leaders can he persuaded to sell our water, natural resources and infrastructure assets at significant discounts of their true value to global investors .... This will be described as a plan to "save America" by recapitalizing it on a sound financial footing. In fact, this process will simply shift more capital continuously from America to other continents and from the lower and middle classes to elites.
Take a walk with "The Monkey Wrench Gang," a novel by the late, great Edward Abbey.

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