Washington--Department of Homeland Security officials announced today at a press conference that they would begin implementing their I.D.I.O.T. Apprehension Squad to round up those Americans who are so ignorant and mouthy that they are deemed too dangerous to be at-large.
I.D.I.O.T. stand for "IDIOT DETENTION and IMMINENT OBSERVATION TASK" force, said the Director of DHS, Janie Nappytano.
"We have done extensive studies on this plaque of idiots infecting and destroying our once, great nation and have set-up this task force to not only apprehend those idiots deemed to be the most dangerous, but to keep a keen eye on other idiots who are showing too much potential to become a full-blown moron," added Ms. Nappy.
DHS handed out a list of those idiots and morons who were being immediately rounded up and put away not for their own safety, but to keep this idiot infestation from going viral.
Some of the names on the I.D.I.O.T. list were Sarah Palin, nicknamed "Mother Idiot," Glenn Beck AKA "Majesty of the Morons," Bill O'Reilly, whose DHS codename was "Czar Slimeball," Ann Coulter, the "Bitchess of Blowhards," and Rush Limbaugh, who's known at DHS by his moniker, "Mouthpiece Moron."
DHS would not release any of the names on the "To Watch" list, but rumor has it that Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and perpetual presidential candidate 'Newt' Gingrich names were on that list.
DHS officials warned the public that these and other I.D.I.O.T.'s were to be considered highly dangerous and were armed with WMD's--WIDE MOUTHS OF DESTRUCTION--for Americans to keep a safe distance away and to ALWAYS turn off the TV or radio if some of their past ignoramus rants appeared on the screen or on the radio.
“hopelessness, fear and hate and a case of world class “stupid” has made the world’s greatest military power, not only a threat to world stability but an outright embarrassment”
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