BENDEROVERVILLE, ARK--Wal-Mart Lawyers from the firm 'Dewey, Cheatem & Howe' today announced that the world's largest retailer would change their name to 'China-Mart.'
"This change was approved at the latest board meeting, with all in attendance agreeing that the name more accurately reflects what Wal-Mart has become; an outlet for selling cheap junk and trinkets from China," said Benjamin Dewey, head counsel for 'China-Mart.' "Since over 80% of our crap is Made in China, the name-change reflects what the former Wal-Mart has become."
He continued: "People need to understand that the multi-billionaires that own 'China-Mart' are hurting in this economy, just like the fools, uhh, I mean the customers that shop at 'China-Mart.' And since we agreed to become a snitch for the Department of Fatherland Security,' the government has agreed--off the record, of course--to no longer keep an eye on the toxic products, poisonous food and cheaply made junk that we get from our dear friends in China."
"I mean, where else are you going to find slave labor that works 98 hour weeks for only 10 cents an hour?
"This is especially critical to 'CHINA-MART'S' fiscal health, since we only earned a miserly $408 BILLION in FY 2010."
Such a deal!"
Nazi Napolitano and Bow Down Obama are working in unison with Walmart to destroy this country. Every American is now a suspect. If you act "suspicious" plan on being turned in by your neighbors and other good Americans. Nazi TSA agents now run the x-ray machines and Walmart is part of Homeland Security.
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Watch this documentary detailing the efforts of Wal-Mart, the worlds largest retailer to avoid taxes, export jobs, break unions and exploit local health care systems designed for the poor.