Oh my darling, even though I talked last night on the phone with my katsa, I just had to write a short note to let you know AGAIN how much I LUV your peace loving nation filled with some of the kindest, sweetest, most generous people on Yahweh's Earth!!!
As you've probably know by now, I've officially declared my intent to run for president of the USA!
But I need some help getting into to that tony mansion on Pennsylvania Avenue and I am personally asking you to help me with this task, a mission I believe God has chosen me for or at least that's what the voices in my head tell me!!!!
You know that I am one of the BIGGEST fans of your darling nation and as president, I hereby pledge to preserve, protect and defend Israel from ALL enemies, both foreign and domestic, especially those meanie Muzzies, who are always trying to destroy your beautiful nation of peace loving people.
When I'm POTUS, I'll do some serious butt-kicking in Gaza. Those ungrateful 'Paleos' need to be taught a few lessons in humility and gratitude and my time as an IRS tax attorney gave me some serious training in how to handle those indigenous types, like that Marvin Manypenny, a native Chippewa Indian who thought he could get away with not paying taxes while working for a non-profit.
I don't care if he was only behind a few hundred dollars in taxes and as for 'Chief' citing some 1867 treaty exempting that tribe from taxation, by Gosh, I took his butt to court. As you can see, I've got personal experience dealing with those who claim they were on the land eons ago before us white folks arrived and are always bitching about how their being treated shamefully by the US government, even being so bold as to claim 'Uncle Sam' stole billions from American Indians.
We know God's favorites and us 'Chosen Ones' have a divine right to take and occupy the land given to us by your G-d, so if those danged Palestinians think they're in misery now, elect me POTUS and I'll show them what HE double hockey sticks is really like!!!
The nerve of those ungrateful wretches, complaining that Palestine, Oops, I mean Israel is their land, which they have been living on for thousands of years.
And I say, "So What!" Might is Right and by gosh, they'll learn that lesson sooner or later, even if they do from six feet under.
Again, I want to personally say a BIG 'Thank You' again for all the kindness your great nation showed me on all those trips you paid for to send me to the Holy Land!!!
What a beautiful country, but it will become even more so when you get me into the White House, as I pledge to not only keep all that money and weaponry from the USA to Israel flowing, but I'll make darn sure it increase a BUNCH.
That beautiful Israeli gentleman who was my personal guide was not only nice and VERY accommodating, he was a real stud (snicker), but please don't tell my hubby that, he might take it the wrong way and want a divorce, and that would hurt my 'Family Values' image.
I've also been furthering my education with the wonderful David Horowitz and he's vastly increased my knowledge about those mean old Muzzies trying to take over the world.
Not on my watch!!
But I could do a much better job if I was watching from the White House, with our helpful friends at the Pentagon and the CIA only a phone call away!!!
Something else I want to thank you for is keeping all those nasty stories out of the press, and I think we both know who owns the media in the USA...'wink, wink..nudge, nudge.'
It wouldn't help my presidential aspirations to let Americans know about my relationship with my close personal friend and major campaign donor, convicted money launderer and cocaine/gun runner Frank Vennes Jr.
Frank is a great person and is being hounded by the government over some silly charges about tax evasion, theft, drug running, money-laundering and his alleged role in that $3.5 billion Tom Petters Ponzi scheme.
He found Jesus while doing his first stint in prison and that's what counts, not some measly trumped up charges.
So what if he's made a few teeny-tiny mistakes, the US government has better things to do, like making sure Israel stays 'large and in charge' of the Middle East; N. Africa and SW Asia and as POTUS, I'll make double darn sure Israel can keep on doing whatever it wants, whenever and to whoever.
If I'm the President, I'll spend as much money and risk as many of our service members lives to keep Israel safe from those 'evil-doers!!!'
As you know, part of the image I'm trying to project is that of a 'fiscal hawk,' relentlessly calling out those 'welfare loafers' who like to get tax money from Uncle 'Sugar.' So I want to thank you BIG TIME for helping keep out of the press all that taxpayer money we get from the government for farm subsidies.That allows me to appear to be tight-fisted with tax dollars, while me and hubby get lots and lots of free money but thanks to your control over the media, I can tell a little white lie and say I've "never gotten a penny of money from the farm."
At the same time, my darling husband, Marcus, can collect annual Medicaid payments totaling over $137,000, for our mental health facility, Bachmann and Associates, Inc., while I can denounce the Medicaid program for swelling the "welfare rolls."
Is America great or what!!!
And we get this money even though our clinics are actually fronts for fundamentalist Christian proselytizing.(Please don't get insulted about this Jesus thing, as I'm well aware of what it says in the Talmud about Christ, it's just a fantastic way to rake in the bucks!!)
Well, I hate to end this letter, but gotta run and rake in some more campaign donations from those Tea Party fools:)
So please Israel, make me president of the United States and I promise to go on a Muslim killing spree that will really make Obama look like a Noble Prize winner.
P.S. Americans are getting war weary and tired of seeing their son and daughters coming home in caskets. So we might need to give them another jolt, like you did on 9/11.
That's another good reason I should be POTUS; I can turn all that hate and rage from another false flag in the right direction, against Palestine and Lebanon.. or whoever you tell me to!!!
Since I got appointed to the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, that works with the CIA, just let me know if you need to start setting the stage for the next FALSE FLAG and I'll get those lovable lugs at the CIA working on the details!!!
Bachmann's Unrivaled Extremism
In April 2005, Pamela Arnold wanted to talk to her state senator, Michele Bachmann, who was then running for Congress. A 46-year-old who worked at the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, Arnold lived with her partner, the famed Arctic explorer Ann Bancroft, on a farm in Scandia, Minnesota. Bachmann was then leading the fight against gay marriage in the state. She'd recently been in the news for hiding in the bushes to observe a gay rights rally at the Capitol. So when members of the Scandia gay community decided to attend one of Bachmann's constituent forums, Arnold, wanting to make herself visible to her representative, joined them.
A few dozen people showed up at the town hall for the April 9 event, and Bachmann greeted them warmly. But when, during the question and answer session, the topic turned to gay marriage, Bachmann ended the meeting 20 minutes early and rushed to the bathroom. Hoping to speak to her, Arnold and another middle-aged woman, a former nun, followed her. As Bachmann washed her hands and Arnold looked on, the ex-nun tried to talk to her about theology. Suddenly, after less than a minute, Bachmann let out a shriek. "Help!" she screamed. "Help! I'm being held against my will!"
Arnold, who is just over 5 feet tall, was stunned, and hurried to open the door. Bachmann bolted out and fled, crying, to an SUV outside. Then she called the police, saying, according to the police report, that she was "absolutely terrified and has never been that terrorized before as she had no idea what those two women were going to do to her." The Washington County attorney, however, declined to press charges, writing in a memo, "It seems clear from the statements given by both women that they simply wanted to discuss certain issues further with Ms. Bachmann."
Lots of politicians talk about a sinister homosexual agenda. Bachmann, who has made opposition to gay rights a cornerstone of her career, seems genuinely to believe in one. Her conviction trumps even her once close relationship with her lesbian stepsister. "What an amazing imagination," marvels Arnold. "Her ideology is so powerful that she can construct a reality just on a moment's notice."
We support the Gay husband of ghastly Gay-Bashing Anti-American religio-Psychotic Kook and Incompetent michele bachmann. We implore Marcus to dump his disgusting spouse and come out as an American Freedom Lover. You'd think that michele, who's married to a Gay man, would tone down her vile Anti-American Gay-Bashing and attempts at destroying the Constitutional Rights of Americans. michele bachmann should be impeached at once so she no longer endangers the forward progress of Gay Rights, which are nothing more than Rights. America is a Free Secular Nation, not a Nation controlled by creepy christian Kooks who want to dictate everyone's lifestyle for them.
If Bachmann somehow manages to capture the presidency, she'll make GW Bush look like the reincarnation of Thomas Jefferson.