Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Newt Gingrich is PREGNANT!

One look at his huge belly and you can tell Newt is pregnant, but the coy Newt isn't saying who knocked him up.


Inquiring minds wants to know who's the Father?

Some think its Wall Street.

Some say Israel.

Or maybe it's the multi-billionaire Koch Brothers?

(This "Source Watch" article on the Koch Brothers outlines their sleazy ways, from bribing foreign officials, to stealing oil on Indian Reservations, to teaching employees to steal and cheat in business dealings, the Koch Brothers have certainly earned their fortune the 'old-fashioned' way; they've stolen most of it from others.)

Doctors who will assist in the birth say they will have to perform a Caesarean section, since the Ultrasound Scan showed the baby to be a male with horns and the physicans were concerned the sharp points might damage Newt's rectum.

Newt's Zionist Jew supporters have assured him that even though this procedure violates certain Judaic religious laws, Gingrich's spawn will still be eligible for the "Pidyon HaBen" dedication ritual.

When the former Speaker of the House was asked if he had picked a name for the baby, he replied that 'Baʿal Samuel Gingrich' was at the top of the list.

Newt's Buddies in Action
Republicans Murder Liberal Cat

The campaign manager of Arkansas Democratic congressional candidate Ken Aden arrived home last night to find his child’s pet cat murdered on the front porch with the word “LIBERAL” scrawled across its lifeless body.

Aden’s campaign manager, Jake Burris, lives in central Arkansas with his four kids.

Last night, Jake and his four kids had come back to their Russellville home. As they were getting out of the car, one of his children discovered their family cat dead on the front porch. One side of the animal’s head had been bashed in and an eyeball was hanging out of its socket. But there was something even more horrifying to be found on the corpse. Written across the animal’s fur in black marker was the word “LIBERAL."

Is this what the 1% have planned for the rest of us? Bashing in our skulls to send a message and to steal what little we have left in our pockets.

And what kind of sick, depraved fuck does this to a helpless house pet?



  1. LOL

    Newt Gingrich is PREGNANT!

    Sure, looks like it! May be he was r*aped by fellow pinhead sick sanitarium. According to sick rick, rape victims should 'make the best of a bad situation' if they get pregnant and give birth to the 'gift from God'

    'Baʿal Samuel Gingrich'( Dictionnaire Infernal version) looks like newt's sugar-daddy sheldon adelson. Gift from g_d indeed!

    Cats are "liberal"? Oh that's not all .... cat's are muzzie terrorists in disguise & they must be all exterminated!

    Muezza (or Muʿizza) (Arabic: معزة‎) is said to have been the Islamic prophet Muhammad's favorite cat.[1][2] According to legend, Muhammad one day awoke at the sound of the call to prayer. Preparing to attend, he began to clothe himself; however, he soon discovered Muezza sleeping on the sleeve of his robe. Rather than wake her, he used a pair of scissors to cut the sleeve off, leaving the cat undisturbed. When he returned from prayers, the prophet received a bow from Muezza in thanks. He then stroked his beloved cat three times. The accuracy of this story is not clear, as no references to it are made in the Quran or the Hadith.
    Due primarily to the love Muhammad displayed for Muezza, Muslims are traditionally encouraged to regard cats as lovable and cherished creatures. Mistreating an animal is seen as among the most severe of all crimes in Islam.[3][4]

    Yeah, tell that to Pope Gregory IX and specially to those chicken swingers!

  2. Thanks Greg, needed the laugh...

    ... but I stopped when I saw the cat. Gawd theres some sickos out there.

    Especially since the cat was probably worth a hundred times more than the Newt.

  3. Franz, I've seen many cats that are skittish around strangers and hide. But the really sweet, lovable ones will come up to a stranger, rub up against the stranger's leg and emit a soft, purring sound, hoping it will get petted.

    Since the family had four kids, I imagine their cat was a gentle, kindly soul, who walked up to the sick SOB carrying a hammer, hoping to get petted, but instead got its brains bashed in.

    What a sick fuck.

    Musique, when the Vatican went on its witch burning spree during the Middle Ages, they also declared cats to be evil, claiming they worked with the witches, so they too should be killed.

    Christians went about killing cats in Europe with enthusiasm, which let the rat and mice population to explode, which brought on an abundance of flea bites that transmitted the "Black Death,' or bubonic plaque that wiped out nearly 40% of Europeans.

  4. Newt is pregnant? Impossible. No one would fuck him.

  5. So there I was chortling along about a pregnant Newt (perish the thought!) and then the writer hit me with the dead cats.

    The poor creature betrayed. But the children who saw their pets thus have the nightmare too.

    It is one thing to use animal deaths as an opportunity to teach them about natural cycles, but the violence of another human being to their beloved pet is what is both inexcusable and inexplicable.

    In the heyday of Egypt, to injure a cat was a death sentence.

    It is horrific that politics should reach such a level of sickness.

  6. Excellent Greg, I also needed a laugh!

    I read about the story of the cat being murdered the other day and couldn't believe it. Who the hell would do something like that?

  7. I laughed both at the piece and at the fact that it seems to contradict the self-proclaimed methodology of the blog: TENDERLY washing brains :)

    In all seriousness, keep up the good work. It is appreciated. Godspeed.


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