Saturday, January 7, 2012

President Santorum Declares Martial Law Against Masturbators

11.03.11
santorum (san-TOR-um) n.

1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
Washington--Today, our most blessed leader, President Santorum declared martial law against those who masturbate and is deploying the National Guard and employing various private security firms to seek our and arrest those who masturbate, declaring that it is a form of birth control.

"I will use all of the powers of my imperial presidency to seek out and arrest these fans of Onan, who deliberatly flaunt my G-d and they will not be able to hide from our snooping eyes and well-tuned ears,' said President Santorum.

"If these offenders of YWHW think they can hide their disgusting activities in the privacy of their own homes, they better think again, because we have spy satellites that can peer into your home and see anyone doing anything and that includes this now prohibited form of sexual perversion.

The President continued: "I have issued an Executive Order, #666-69 that will allow my private armies to chase down and arrest these heathens and I have also appointed my good friend who our G-d talks to on a regular basis, Pat Robertson, to head this cleansing of the USA."

"I don't pay any attention to the medical community and their sinful thoughts about masturbation and if you want to avoid prison, you'd best not believe what medical professionals say about what the weirdos call 'jerking-off,' or else one of our not so friendly MP's--Masturbation Patrol--will be paying you a visit SOON.
Rick Santorum is coming for your birth control

Here is an actual Rick Santorum quote: “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.” And also, “Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

It’s pretty basic: Rick Santorum is coming for your contraception. Any and all of it. And while he may not be alone in his opposition to non-procreative sex, he is certainly the most honest about it — as he himself acknowledged in the interview.
Rick Santorum's Top 10 Most Outrageous Campaign Statements

'Sick Rick,' when confronted with losing his Senate seat, starts war mongering about radical Islamic terrorism in the US, but still loses...read this Wikipedia link to see his other hypocritical views and actions.

"OhNo, Bono!"
Political Theater and the Real Rick Santorum

Bono, who has worked closely with him over the years, got it right: “I would suggest that Rick Santorum has a kind of Tourette’s disease; he will always say the most unpopular thing. But on our issues, he has been a defender of the most vulnerable.”
Bono, did all that money, fame and adulation pollute your brain or were you just posing all these years as some kind of radical singer who fights the good fight to get all that money, fame and adoring fans?

What a waste of talent.

Bono, this is the company you keep.

Back in 2006, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) named Santorum as one of the most corrupt members of the Senate.

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2 comments:

musique said...

WOW!!! Only in America we believe in recycling totally unrecyclable garbage!

After winning the most prestigious most corrupt senate member 06 award sick santy becomes America's darling & presidential contender, this is so disturbing. Oh let's not forget that newt gingrich filth either - another sick corrupt fvck.

sick sanitarium- the ultimate protector of judeo-Xtian sharia rights!

Greg Bacon said...

After he joined the Insane McCain "Let's Bomb Iran" chorus, even though he lost his Senate seat, he seemed to start coming into an awful lot of money from somewhere.

In 1997 Santorum purchased a three bedroom house in the Pittsburgh suburb of Penn Hills next to the home of his wife's parents for $87,800. In 2001, however, he bought a home for for $643,000 in Leesburg, Virginia, about an hour's drive northwest of Washington, DC, and in 2007 spent $2 million to buy a 5,000-square foot home in Great Falls, Virginia, about 40 minutes from DC.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Santorum#Pennsylvania_residency_controversies

Santorum became a millionaire since leaving the Senate

http://www.americablog.com/2012/01/santorum-became-millionaire-since.html

Gosh, wonder where all those shekels, oops, I mean Fed notes came from?

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