Celebrating 5774 years of dominating the cattle sent by our G-d to serve our needs! Thank our TRUE G-d, the Lord of Light that we have sports for the American mind. Not that it needs much clogging up, since our numerous 'news' outlets have already poisoned many a mind.
But there are some that are holding out, so those must be brought into our fold, or eliminated.
January---NFL playoffs, a time of great joy for our cattle, sitting on their easy chairs, peacefully munching on potato chips and drinking beer, while watching a ball made from pig--Yuck--leather sail thru the air. Also when we hold the college football championship, which we have managed to grow into such an event that people feel compelled to watch so they can make 'intelligent' comments about the game the next day.
For the more 'sophisticated,' we have the "X Games' in ski country, to give our cattle another distraction, like the most ingenious 'Fiscal Cliff,' which was another way to use our favorite weapon, fear, to manipulate the masses into bleating not to cut the bloated Pentagon budget, which we plunder on a regular basis.
Our glorious 'Wars for Wall Street and Israel,' continue unabated, with many of our foes being brought to their knees or killed. Thank G-d for America!
February---The most holy Jewish holiday of Purim, which we celebrate the mass murder of 75,000 Persians by going out and killing some Arabs, or Iranians or if we really feel mischievous, we'll kill some of those dumb-ass Americans, who will be enraptured by watching the 'Stupid Bowl' on their TalmudVision sets at the start of the month, and finishing off the month by watching the start of the NASCAR season.
One of our most favorite GOYIM events is the comical "St. Valentine's Day" which our pets celebrate by purchasing endless numbers of diamonds, a trade we control and use to make vast amounts of money by MSM propaganda inserted into the slaves mind that they must buy a diamond to show their love.
February is when we hold numerous award ceremonies to honor one of our most prized creations, Hollywood. This year, we will hold the Academy Awards ceremony on the start of Purim, February 24.
These ceremonies have almost attained a religious significance, with many a GOYIM chattering endlessly about this meaningless drivel, but it keeps them happy and distracted, which is what we need to fulfill out goal of world conquest.
March---Passover, an event which we use to mock that demon the Christians love so much, 'J'. Also, the start of the appropriately named sports frenzy called "March Madness," during which time the GOYIM are overcome with sporting fantasies involving a round ball and some goals.
This year, we let the Christian scum have their Easter holiday on March 31. We have so successfully bamboozled those clowns about Easter's pagan roots that they have no idea of what they are really worshiping.
April---The official start of Major League Baseball, which we have built into a huge display of affection by the GOYIM who worship multimillionaires playing a child's game. This month is also when our agency, the IRS, collects all that money that is paid to another of our creations, the Federal Reserve, making us Chosen Ones wealth beyond all imagination.
The National Basketball Association starts its seemingly never-ending rounds of playoffs and the National Hockey League starts its playoffs.
Plus, our cattle offer us tribute by digging deep into their pockets to pay tribute to their Masters in the form of the IRS income tax, which goes to our shadowy world of international bankers.
May---We start releasing the GOYIM's offspring from our holocaust themed public schools during this month, providing our many businesses with a pool of cheap labor and an increase of our sales of illegal drugs, keeping America the biggest consumer of our narcotics in the world.
We also demand that our pets celebrate their military, with the "Armed Forces Day" holiday and the ever reliable "Memorial Day," which has become an almost drugged-like praise of all things military.
And we mandate in May that the GOYIM bow down in obedience to one of our greatest money-making rackets, the Holocau$t, just one of many mandatory offerings our cattle give to us.
June---Another holiday that we mandate the GOYIM celebrate, "Flag Day" where they literally have contests to see who can fly the gaudiest flag they think symbolizes freedom. LOL!
A very good month for Hollywood, as the GOYIM stream into movie palaces, desperate for some kind of entertainment to lighten their dreary lives.
And a very good month for carrying out FALSE FLAG, like our underhanded attack on the USS Liberty.
July---Another pseudo holiday, July 4th, is celebrated by our cattle, an absurdity where they wave flags, drink large amounts of beer, eat BBQ and sing silly songs, like "America the Beautiful" to show the world they are living in a fully functioning democracy. If they only knew the truth.
We also let our pets take vacations in July, where they all scramble to 'get away from it all' by joining thousands others like them in some forlorn, overcrowded vacation spot. We admit that since we looted the world's banks thru our predatory MBS and CDS frauds that not as many Americans can afford to take a vacation, but that's the price YOU pay to satisfy our lust for gold.
August---We mandate that the GOYIM's putrid offspring start going back to holocaust themed class rooms this month, giving us unfettered access to young, very susceptible minds we can warp to our own ends.
The start-up of the NFL happens this month, exciting many couch potatoes to the point of orgasm, letting us continue on with our lucrative 'Wars for Wall Street and Israel' without interference.
September---Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are celebrated, giving us a chance to show our joy by bombing or invading some neighboring country or pulling off a FALSE FLAG, like we did on 9/11.
The NFL and college football are in full bloom, wasting many an American brain cell, but that doesn't cause any harm, since cattle don't need brains.
October---Another good month for all those contented cattle, grazing on TalmudVision, watching the World Series, football, NASCAR races and the NHL. This is one of our prime months, as we subtly insert into the GOYIM's mind vivid images on our beloved TalmudVision sets as to what constitutes happiness and how that can only be achieved thru consumption, with the idea of getting the couch potato psyched up about the coming holiday season...NO, we don't talk about the birth of you know who, yuck.
November---Another glorious Jewish holiday, Hanukkah starts this month, one that GOYIM around the world have been trained to worship. We even have managed to get a Menorah installed and lit on the White House lawn, since the GOYIM can no longer, thanks to our attorneys, set up a Nativity Scene on the WH lawn. We MUST have total obedience over our cattle and having those fools worship one of our religious totems is an excellent way to show our domination.
Hanukkah also solidifies our control over the GOYIM's birth methods, as we have demanded and received since ancient times the mystical right of our most holy Rabbis to suck a newly born babies penis.
If you try to ban this cherished practice, then you are guilty of 'blood libel.' But the cattle know very little about this, as our control over the MSM ensures that only stories about priest perverts get published.
Every two years we let the GOYIM vote in mid-term elections that take place in November, and general elections every four, where they think they elect a president, but he/she is nothing more than a figurehead, chosen by the 'Chosen' to carry out our schemes, machinations and various murders, thefts and tyrannical actions.
Since we do care a little about the mental health of our cattle, we let them have a holiday called "Thanksgiving" this month, usually celebrated by eating large amounts of food, then plopping their lard asses down on the sofa so they can stare for hours at the TalmudVision set, watching football.
During this marathon eating and TalmudVision viewing session, we continually slip in ads on what to buy your 'loved' one for that holiday coming next month...Still didn't say the 'C' word. Wives and spouses get their revenge the next day by going on insane shopping sprees, constantly searching for some way to fill that void in their heart thru consumerism.
December---That ringing you hear isn't sleigh bells, but our cash registers all over N. America as our cattle celebrate their most precious holiday by going on a shopping binge and an orgy of consumption. The best part is that we have managed to train our obedient cattle into equating love with consumption so the fools spend themselves broke buying items which only give temporary happiness, until the newness wears off, but by then, their credit card is maxed out.
We bring the NFL season to a climax, with die-hard fans spending tremendous amounts of money buying football paraphernalia, all in determined effort to look like their hero, who WE have made.
College and NBA basketball are in high demand, as evidenced by the constant 'mooing' of our cattle at their TalmudVision sets. And the sets are filled with all sorts of mind-numbing holiday slop, to make the GOYIM feel good, at least for awhile, before the harsh realities of the new year sink in along with the our tax and credit card bills that begin to arrive in January.
"It's Good to be the King!"