New York--Rupert Murdoch, CEO, COO and HMFIC of Fox News announced today that his prime time news cable shows on FOX will start using life size Barbie dolls as anchors on their popular news shows.
"The job of a female anchor on FOX is not very demanding," said Mr. Murdoch. "They need to be pretty, have shapely legs and a well proportioned chest to keep our clueless males viewers hanging on their every word. It doesn't matter if the male viewer is actually listening to what is being said, what matters is that they tune in to Fox. After we hook them with sexy anchors, we can subliminally insert Zionist propaganda continually so that the victim, uhh, I mean viewer will become a steadfast supporter of Israel."
"Currently we have a number of Fox Barbie dolls training at our secret Florida studio, where we're working on getting those numbskulls lips synched with the actual reporting voice."
"As you can see from the video, it's more important for our fembots to have good looking legs and to wear a short skirt. That's how we get those ratings to rise, among other things," snickered Mr. Murdoch.
"Another important job qualification is to have a large rack and not be shy about showing those babies off."
"So why should I pay big bucks to some bimbo when I can program Barbie dolls, who work for nothing, to do the same?"