Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What ZNN's Wolfie Blitzer Actually Does


7.30.13 photo blitzer_zpse68604d5.jpg

He's a "Groom of the Stool" to various VIP's in government and business.

You can catch him doing his trade nightly on ZNN, where he grooms backsides of the rich and famous everyday.

For those with a strong stomach, click here to see Wolfie in action. Wolfie is a die-hard environmentalist, so he doesn't believe in using trees for toilet paper
The Groom of the Stool was a male servant in the household of an English monarch who, among other duties, “preside[d] over the office of royal excretion,” that is, he had the task of cleaning the monarch’s anus after defecation. In the early years of Henry VIII’s reign, the title was awarded to minions of the King, court companions who spent time with him in the Privy chamber. These were the sons of noblemen or important members of the gentry. In time they came to act as virtual personal secretaries to the King, carrying out a variety of administrative tasks within his private rooms. The position was an especially prized one, as it allowed one unobstructed access to the King’s attention. Despite being the official bum-wiper of the king, the Groom of the Stool had a very high social standing.
Wolfie had his hands and mouth full recently in Aspen, Colorado, grooming generals and spooks alike with his shaved tongue.

4 comments:

buelahman said...

You just cut the most trusted name in TV.

Good on you.

Greg Bacon said...

Trusted?

By vultures, leeches and parasites... and not the ones in Nature.

Jody Paulson said...

Great post, Greg! "Groom of the stool," lol ... I'd never heard of that, but that's an apt description!

MachtNichts said...

Rumour has it, the lesser nobility of old in their castles used the walk ways between chambers for their business. The ladies just lifted their skirts with no or split panties underneath. Not sure how the guys did it. The throne in your link was only for the upper uppers.

I think good old Henry wouldn't have been able to wipe his own ass anyway. If the Blitzer, aka Zev Barak (wiki) chooses to do what he does he will be remembered as walking the hallways of the piles of shit.

(I've been to a few castles in my life, if you reach the right area you can still smell it).

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