New York--UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon was rushed to Mt. Sinai hospital today, suffering from what his doctor's called severe over-extension of both index fingers.
His personal physician, Dr. Shlomo Buttstein, said Ban Ki-moon had injured both index fingers over the last few days when he was severely wagging first one, then the other index fingers against Israel for their conduct in Gaza.
"I have told Ban Ki-moon that he needs extensive rest and no more wagging of the index fingers at Israel, if he wants to recover and regain full use of his fingers," said Dr. Buttstein.
"This is not the first time Ban Ki-moon has suffered this terrible affliction. He also had a sever case back in 2008, during Israel's "Operation Cast Lead" and we warned Mr. Ki-moon at that time to avoid exerting his index fingers in such an abnormal manner. And I told Ban that it was beneath the dignity of the Office of UN Secretary-General to engage in such tawdry anti-Semitic behavior!"
A team of oncologists also checked Ban Ki-moon out, concerned about the blisters on his tongue, but declared the blisters to not be cancerous, when Ban Ki-moon informed the head oncologist, Dr. Ariel Fecalberg that he always got those blisters immediately after licking Israeli PM Netanyahu's rectum.