Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Hillary Clinton Killed in Bizarre Accident

7.7.2015 photo hrm_zpsxxmayrut.jpg

Kansas--Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was killed today in an accident that has authorities baffled. She was found underneath a house in Oz County, Kansas, with the life squashed out of her.

Local Sheriff C. Lyon says, "It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. Been sheriffing around here nigh on 40 years and ain't never seen anything like this."

A local girl, Dorothy, whose last name was withheld due to her age, swears she saw Hillary flying a broomstick during the tornado that struck the area, but authorities aren't putting any stock in her statements and she has been turned over for medical care.

However, a local handyman, T. Man, also backs up Dorothy's story, saying he had been looking for a place to shelter from the tornado when he had a loud cackling noise and looked up to see Mrs. Clinton flying on a broomstick, with the airborne house nearby.
Authorities have turned Mr. Man over to the local jail, where they're going to let him sleep off his drunkenness.

Mrs. Clinton was back East and was supposed to fly to the West, but had changed he flight plans at the last minute. Her staff said she needed some 'Hillie Time,' so they left her in the office and went home. Mr. Clinton was in New York, interviewing potential female interns for the White House.
Mrs. Clinton's Secret Service detail was found in a Kansas City bar, drinking and cavorting with sex workers and have been recalled to Washington.

The tornado that struck that part of Kansas registered F4 on the Fujita scale, which was a "Pretty good blow for Kansas, " said a Mr. Crow, a local farmer.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was a good read and a laugh. Wonderful job Goon Squad

Genie said...

registered F4 on the Fujita scale

hahaha! Great spoof!

btw here the link to that video. I want you to watch how hilarious are those ISIS Jihadees! Like a TV Mod Squad...rofl!
http://rt.com/usa/272023-obama-isis-strategy-briefing/

Genie said...

no not Mod Squad...Road Warriors!

Anonymous said...

Good laugh ! But unfortunately for the American people it isn't true !

Greg Bacon said...

The Pentagon must of told them to stop parading around in all those new 4WD pickup trucks in a row, with gun mounts that we gave you, it makes us look like fools.

At the Treasury Department, another 'Chosen One' gets the nod, Adam SZUBIN to be terrorism sanctions czar.

Two of my favorite comments left at that video:

Ultimately? ISIS is already part of the coalition of the willing ... willing to murder children; willing to bomb schools, hospitals, residences, infrastructure; willing to use banned chemical weapons; willing to kill for financial gain; willing to kill for oil, gas; willing to lie; willing to stage false flag attacks, etc.

So Obama is planning to leaflet ISIS and offer them "better ideas", such as becoming debt slaves instead of having sex slaves.

SizzleChest said...

No mention of a pawing by Wild "Cowardly Lyin'" Bill?

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