Thursday, November 10, 2016
Madonna in Hospital for Emergency Stomach Pumping
New York--Aging pop Diva Madonna today entered New York's Mt. Sinai hospital for a gastric suction procedure, more commonly known getting one's stomach pumped.
Dr. Shlomo Lipshitz, the attending physician said, "Madonna is recuperating and doing fine. She is a die-hard Hillary fan and made a promise to uhh, give anyone who voted for Hillary sexual favor, which she eagerly complied with on the streets of New York. Unfortunately, after two days of this service, Madonna had swallowed so much of a certain bodily fluid, that her system became toxic, resulting in severe stomach pain and bloat. We suctioned out around 300 cc's of male sperm from her stomach and also retrieved her bottom denture plate, which must of been shoved down her throat during an enthusiastic moment."
Madonna is expected to stay until Saturday, then will return to the streets for more voting action. At press time, we could not confirm that former President Clinton was searching New York streets for his friend.
This is Seymour Butts reporting for station AZHO.
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