"This will not stand," said Senator Chuck 'Fetch' Schumer. "We all know who is behind this atrocity, it's anti-Caninism rearing its ugly head. We will not go back to the horrors of old, when six million dogs were shipped off to gas chambers,' thundered 'Fetch.'
The ADL--Animal Defense League--spokesdog, 'Bowser,' had this to day: "Ruff, ruff, ruff, bark, BARK, BARK, RUFF!" before he was distracted and had to go sniff another dog's pile of excrement.
Naturally, whenever these crimes are committed, there are always those who rejoice, like 'Precious,' a Siamese cat, who said, "Purr, purr, purr, hee-hee, Purr!"
South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham's office said the Senator would comment as soon as he had settled on which Christian Dior gown to wear to the Drag Queen festival.
Democrat House leader Nana 'Sleazy' Peelosi couldn't comment at this time, her staff said she was too busy helping pull off a bloodless Coup d'état.
This is Jacob Crapper reporting for AZHO.