Saturday, July 22, 2017

Israel to Receive the Inaugural Nobel Prize for Corruption!

Stockholm--The Sweden Academy, in a presser held today in Stockholm, announced that Israel will be the first recipient of the Nobel Prize for Corruption.

The Academy said that there were a number of deserving nominations for this prestigious Nobel Prize for Corruption, such as Hillary Clinton, NATO, Jared Kushner and Palestinian President Abbas, but that Israel beat out the others with ease.
The current permanent secretary of the academy, Sara Danius, said what tipped the committee in Israel's favor was all the corruption scandals surrounding and engulfing PM Netenyahu's administration, from the sale of submarines by Thyssen Krupp to Israel, involving a number of the PM's cabinet and advisors to the scandals involving the Israeli telecommunications giant, Bezeq to the Israeli binary options scandal.

"This is a country that is so corrupt, that even the the Israeli Chief Rabbinate is involved in seedy deals," said Danius.

"Not even the military is safe from Israeli corruption, as some contractors have been caught stealing IDF assault rifles and selling them in Syria."

"Another rather seedy aspect of Israel is that it has become a paradise--if that is the correct word--for child rapists," added Danius.

"But what sealed the prize for Israel was that JP Morgan, no stranger to corruption, issued a warning to its customers about being aware of ‘systemic corruption’ in Israel and to keep a close eye on their financial dealings while visiting there. When a serial looter like the corrupt JP Morgan tells its customers to 'Be Aware of this country's corruption,' we knew we had a winner," said Danius.

1 comment:

Please stick to the topic at hand. Anyone trying to hijack this blog with long, winding comments about other topics or spam will be booted.

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