If you're a Jew, Then you can Outsmart your G-d

These fuckers are something else. It's one thing to bamboozle us Goyim, but to think you're smart enough to con your G-d?

Either their G-d is a dimwitted moron or Jews are deluding themselves.

High wire strewn through city lets Jews keep the faith

Orthodox Jews are allowed to push baby strollers and carry prayer books on the Jewish Sabbath thanks to a loophole made of fishing line that stretches some 18 miles on utility poles around the city.

The line forms a nearly invisible enclosure, called an eruv in ­Hebrew. Jews are prohibited from doing these simple tasks outside on the Sabbath, but carry them out in the confines of the eruv because it symbolically turns a public space into a private one.

Every Thursday, two Hasidic rabbis drive along the border of the eruv to conduct pre-dawn inspections. If they spot a break, they report it immediately to a maintenance crew that dispatches repair workers. Yearly upkeep is divided among Orthodox synagogues in Manhattan and amounts to about $100,000.

Strong winds, heavy snow and floats in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade have damaged the fishing lines that are suspended 20-feet high and which stretch from Harlem to Houston Street, from the East River to the Hudson.

The rabbis return on Friday mornings to make sure the repairs are complete. “It’s a secret operation,” said Adam Mintz, a Manhattan rabbi whose 2011 doctoral thesis at NYU was entitled “Halakhah in America: The History of City Eruvin, 1894-1962.”

The eruv boundaries, which are mapped on Google, have a Twitter feed to let the devout know everything is kosher.

Yes, just string some fishing line up on the utility poles in your 'hood and declare everything inside that to be part of your home, thereby defeating your G-d's mandates.

One question: How much does this flim flammery cost taxpayers?

Not done yet! Where the phrase "Shove it up your ass" gets a whole new meaning!

How I Get My Caffeine Fix On Yom Kippur — With A Suppository

Did You Take Your Caffeine Suppository at Yom Kippur?

And yes, I am one of the many people who stick a pill up my rectum every Yom Kippur.

Although there are questions as to whether this is halachically permissible, in my Orthodox community, rabbis have okayed this form of relief.

For the squeamish, I can promise you that it’s life changing: Your fast will be better, your praying will be better, even your sense of spirituality (which we all aspire to on this holy day) will be better. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but that kind of suffering is entirely appropriate for the holy day.

There are even caffeine suppositories laced with Ibuprofen. This, of course, helps relieve any other symptoms of fasting, like headaches and other aches and pains from standing too long.

Their G-d is truly an imbecile, at least he/she/it must be, to be thwarted by its own creations on a regular basis.

Why the doofus can't even beat his own rabid Rabbis in a debate.

Thereby proving that the Jew God is not omnipotent, which means he/she/it is not a God, which means Judaism is not a religion, but a cult.