Wednesday, January 15, 2020

My Family's Horrible Holocaust Story by Yacob Epstein

My name is Yacob Epstein and I'm going to share with you disbelievers my family's horrible Holocaust story that is more like a nightmare.

In the 1920's, my grandparents lived in small town adjacent to Berlin. Life was good, real good. We ran the only child prostitution business in that area, and our johns customers would come from all over Europe to spend their shekels at our house.
It was good times, according to my Grandma, since it was a tax-free business with hardly any overhead, since my family, usually Uncle Bibi and Aunt Nana, would troll the Berlin streets, looking for likely orphans or kids who were lost and spirit them back to the family business, which would be their home until they had to be terminated, or died during some act of sexual depravity. Which we would charge the john double, since we now had to acquire anudda child to turn into a prostitute. (They were very careful to only kidnap Gentile kids, and NOT Jewish children)

Those were good times. The shekels flowed into our hands and with virtually no overhead and no taxes to pay, we were living like Kings, which is the G-d born right of every Jew. Anyone who tried some funny business was shut down by our contacts in the law enforcement and judicial system.
Then that damned Hitler came into power. Just seeing that bastard's name makes me seethe with hatred for Germans. Hitler vowed to clean up Berlin, then Germany and we laughed, until his bastard brown shirts came by one day and rescued our trained kiddie whores and took them to a hospital to recover. That wasn't the worst, as the Germany judicial system ruled that not only were we violating numerous laws regarding children--they were just damned Goyim--but that our business had spread various STD's all over Berlin.
That asshole Gentile judge ruled that we weren't fit to be part of society, so they herded my entire family off to a death camp. They called it a work camp, where they would teach us a useful trade, but to us Jews, Chosen to rule over you lumps of clay, having to do manual labor was like a death sentence.
To make matters worse, that notorious Dr. Mebgele came by and that monster insisted we take at least TWO showers a week! Then that rat said we also needed to use soap during the shower! What kind of devil tells us Chosen Ones to take showers using soap? The unmitigated nerve of that beast!

Miraculously, all of my family survived that nightmare camp and returned to Berlin after Hitler and those damned Nazis got there just dues. We re-started our very lucrative business, in West Berlin, Miami, NYC and LA, and the added bonus was that anytime someone might castigate our business, we scream Holocaust Denier which shuts up those fools ASAP. It doesn't matter who you are or how powerful you might be, just uttering the word denier is enough to send careers into a dead end.
But the horrible memories of those traumatic days are still with me, even though I wasn't born until 1955. It's part of my DNA and to relieve the emotional pain, I am now getting Holocaust reps from a dozen different nations and at least 10 businesses that existed back then.

Even that isn't enough, so you American Goyim need to fork over some more money, which you can send to either my Miami Beach mansion or my NYC penthouse.

Never again will you assholes take away our child prostitution business, for when things get too hot, we scream anti-Semitism or sic the ADL on your sorry asses. And with our good friend Donald Trump in the WH, it's going to be smooth sailing for our business, and others that we engage in, like illegal drug sales--which we sneak into this or that nation, using our Israeli Embassy to move the drugs, since whatever they bring in, CAN'T be inspected since it's in a diplomatic pouch.

You assholes who refuse to believe our Kabbalah magic number of 6 gorillion, you might as well give up and sign on to become anudda one of our Goy slaves, since we have many ways to pollute the public's mind.

Another lucrative side-business is the selling of those video tapes we make of the encounters of people from around the world enjoying our child whores. A certain intelligence agency who shall remain anonymous, buys those tapes and uses them for a variety of purposes. If Americans only knew which of their politicians have been caught with their pants down!

And with anudda Chosen One, 'Mikey' Bloomberg buying the WH in 2020, never has it been a better time to be a Jew!

P.S. Bless Saint Helen of Gucci Gulch!

We were never hyphenated as Arab-Americans. We were American, and I have always rejected the hyphen and I believe all assimilated immigrants should not be designated ethnically. Or separated, of course, by race, or creed either. These are trends that ever try to divide us as a people.

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