June 20, 2009 by Binyamin Nerdfinkel
Los Angeles-President Obama was assassinated today in Los Angeles, while giving a speech to the "Friends of Israel" committee at a local synagogue. The president was rushed to Sinai Memorial Hospital, but by all accounts, is presumed to be dead.
The suspect was cornered at a local mosque, where a shootout ensued, ending with the death of the subject. Police say that the Secret Service has found the sniper rifle, an Iranian made Steyr.
As this article was going to print, Vice-President Joe Biden was being sworn in as president and is said to be calling in the Joint Chiefs of Staff to choose what military response there will be to this heinous crime.
The White House issued a short press release, saying that "President Biden is aghast at this unprovoked act of terror, committed by elements of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. President Biden says Americans will take their grief and turn it into a mighty sword, to smite the enemies of this republic."
The White House also stated that due to certain "terrorist" elements lurking on the web, the Internet will be shutdown, but only long enough for the Department of Homeland Security to install the protective "Overlord" software so that the Internet will cease to be breeding grounds for terror and insurrection.
Satire? Not if Obama gets elected president and doesn't constantly show loyalty and undying devotion to that nation of religious bigots on the eastern Mediterranean.
It wouldn't take much. All the Israeli intelligence service MOSSAD has to do is to fine tune their Kennedy assassination models.
Only this time, instead of a "Palestinian" killing the president, it will be an "Iranian" who pulls the trigger, putting Joe boy Biden in charge of the nation's nuclear arsenal.
And away we go to WW III. All for the benefit of our bestest friend and buddy in the ME, Israel.
Norman Podhoretz wets his "Depends" just thinking about this scenario.
Alan Dershowitz likes to curl up in bed, thinking long and hard about this scenario while using his hands to stroke his "fantasies" of manipulating the US into bombing Iran.
Laying next to Alan is Daniel Pipes, wearing a stain sodden blue dress he borrowed from Monica Lewinsky.
Dougie Feith and his supple mouth are there, to assist any that might be experiencing "erectile dysfunction."
And hiding in a "secure, but undisclosed" closet, is none other than "Big Dick" Cheney.
But the "Dick" is too busy counting his well earned shekels to join in this macabre "Dances with Fist" celebration.
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