Got a neighbor acting suspiciously by not mowing his lawn on Saturday morning?
Got a friend who's acting suspicious about that money you owe him?
Got an ex-lover who has the nerve to date someone else?
Turn in those budding "aL Qaeda" types to the USAF "Eagle Eyes" program and you too can be an integral part of the "War on Terror™"! Before those "Bin Laden" wannabe's know it, we'll have so many wiretaps, computerized spy programs and special agents crawling up their ass that they'll think they have a gigantic case of hemorrhoids.
Got any hot terrorist tips? Send them to this email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Citizen, although this won't be as lucrative as the DEA's tip line that helped you make some quick cash ratting out someone smoking dope, you can be proud you helped the "War on Terror™" by helping us round up suspected subversives and tossing them in one of the many Halliburton constructed detention facilities.
Keep a sharp eye, of should we say Eagle Eye out for those "evil-doers" in your neighborhood. That is all!
The "Eagle Eyes" logo consists of four distinct graphic elements, each representing an important aspect of the program:
The "Eye," created by the circle and the enveloping arc of the graphic elements just above and just below it. The "Eye" represents the awareness and vigilance the program generates.
The "Badge," formed by the outer edge of the graphic elements. The "Badge" represents the law-enforcement aspect of the program, led by OSI.
The "Flag," represented by the top two graphic elements in a waving configuration. The "Flag" represents the United States and this program's importance to the nation.
The "Eagle," appearing within the pupil of the eye. The "Eagle" represents the U.S. Air Force, to whom the entire program belongs and whose people and resources the program protects.
From the Eagle Eyes web page.
The Eagle Eyes program is an Air Force anti-terrorism initiative that enlists the eyes and ears of Air Force members and citizens in the war on terror. Eagle eyes teaches people about the typical activities terrorists engage in to plan their attacks. Armed with this information, anyone can recognize elements of potential terror planning when they see it. The program provides a network of local, 24-hour phone numbers to call whenever a suspicious activity is observed. You and your family are encouraged to learn the categories of suspicious behavior and stay attuned to your surroundings. If you observe something suspicious, send your input using this "Crimebusters" link, or alert local authorities.
For you more traditional types who want to bust up that "aL Qaeda" cell in your backyard or report on some suspicious activity by some peace loving Quakers, call the US Army's 1-800-CALL-SPY