Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Sneak Peek at Governor Rick Perry's Diary

December 27, 2011

Dear Diary:

Today I had to flip-flop again and kiss up to those crazy as batshit Christian fundies by signing the Personhood USA pledge to oppose abortion in ALL cases, even rape and incest.

Jesus H. Christ, it's bad enough my lips are sore from kissing Israeli ass, now I've got to suck up to these wackos? It's a damn good thing that the typical American either doesn't care and doesn't vote or is so dumbed down by watching crap on TV that their brains are no longer active, or else they might wake up and realize they're being played for a sucker.

I mean who in their right mind would vote for someone who's constantly changing his position just to get a few votes? Don't they realize that kind of candidate is not trustworthy and will fuck them over as soon as he or she gets into the White House?

If they ever put 2 and 2 together and realize that a zygote is not an actual person, I wouldn't have to degrade myself by signing these dumb ass pledges. Or what happens if Roe v Wade gets tossed into the trash can and some wise guy wants to start claiming his Social Security checks nine months earlier? Where in the hell is that money going to come from?

It damn sure won't come from cutting all that money and weaponry we give to Israel each year, that's for sure a death sentence for a politician and I do mean a REAL death sentence.

Lucky for me, if this president thing doesn't turn out, I can still enjoy all that money I get from Texas taxpayers by double-dipping. Hah, and voters think I'm a fiscal conservative. Well, I am, but only when it applies to the poor and what's left of the middle-class.

Well diary, it's been a long day, so it's reassuring to know that I can spend my nights in a mansion in the hills above the Capitol that Texas taxpayers ante up over $300,000 a year for me to live in style. Think I'll spend some time in the heated pool while one of my two chefs cooks up a meal fit for a King.... like me!!!!

AIPAC leader admits how they control politics

Buying the White House

The Washington Post summarized the Center for Responsive Politics' 1990–2006 data and concluded that "Pro-Israel interests have contributed $56.8 million in individual, group and soft money donations to federal candidates and party committees since 1990." In contrast, Arab-Americans and Muslim PACs contributed slightly less than $800,000 during the same (1990–2006) period.



  1. That could be the diary of any sitting POTUS (or virtually any of them that ever ran for the office, especially if from either of the "two parties".

    I believe that the last paragraph truly says it all, doesn't it? Who owns America? Those towels heads? Or the beanie heads?

  2. I really enjoy when you do satirical posts like this Greg, I have to say! Perry, Bachman, Newt, Mitt, Santorum -- my goodness, these people are the biggest douche bags ever!

  3. BM and Mr. Friend, I heartily agree with both comments.

    When I found that info about how much pro-Israel PAC's donate to get their candidate elected compared to what Arab-Americans and Muslim PAC's donate, I was blown away.

    I knew there would be more on the Israeli side, but not $56 million dollars more.

    And in a nation of around 310 million people, it's shameful that all the Republicans can come up with as candidates are the sleazy douche bags clogging up the MSM, kinda like a turd that won't flush.

    Where's that damn plunger?


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