Washington, DC--Officials at the Walter Reed Hospital in D.C. are putting out a plea for practicing proctologist's to fly to D.C. ASAP to help with the overload in patients returning from the 'Salute to Israeli Apartheid' event held this week.
"We're seeing U.S. Senators and Representatives coming here with massive tearing in their rectum, due to their undying loyalty and sacrifice to Israel", said Dr. Shlomo Lipschitz, Chief Proctologist for Walter Reed. "When they said they loved Israel and would do anything for her, well, some of my brethren in the 'LOBBY' took that a little too literally."
"Certainly, some amount of damage was to be expected, as is the case anytime a U.S. official gets a visit from an Israeli PM Netenyahu or an AIPAC official, but the massive tears in their rectal walls is unheard of, even for these special friends of Israel. Why didn't they take precautions?" lamented Lipschitz. "Upon arrival at the 'Salute to Israeli Apartheid' event, each U.S. official was handed a Holocaust™ by DKNY gift bag, which contained a large tub of KY Jelly; a large box of tissues and a customized set of knee pads, for those prolonged sessions."
"All they had to do was to smear prodigious amounts of the KY Jelly on their rectal area, to help facilitate one-on-one action with their favorite Jewish idol. And now look, they got so excited that few used the KY Jelly, instead choosing to have a more "intimate" relation with their favorite Zionist."
"And that's not all," added Lipschitz. "We're also putting out a plea for Oral Surgeons to come to our aid, as there seems to be more than a few that besides having rectal tears, also have jaw problems, due to their loving embraces of their Jewish friends."
"Thankfully, the large amount of campaign 'donations' these US politicos will get from AIPAC will more than cover any expenses not covered by their generous US taxpayer funded health insurance, and probably precipitate another run on the local Mercedes-Benz dealer."
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