The actor must have the ability to seamlessly read script lines, without using his voice, since we at MOSSAD studios will later dub in the sound track.
The physical requirements for the actor are: To be about 55 yo; have the ability to grow a full, shaggy-looking beard and speak Arabic. Height is not that important, since the actor will be filmed sitting at a table next to an AK-47. Note: Beard color is not important, since we at MOSSAD Studios can dye the beard.
Starting salary is 250,000 shekels (NIS) per year, which will be deposited in a Tel Aviv bank that is a front for the MOSSAD. This salary is to be paid upon our receipt of our yearly funding allotment from the US Treasury.
The actor must also be able to scowl and look menacingly, when reading the script, anytime he mouths the phrases, "Death to America, Death to Israel."
Once a contract is offered, it must be signed by the actor. The contract will be in force for one year, or until the U.S. starts bombing Iran or until the untimely death of the actor, which ever comes first.
Acting skills are not as important as the physical ability to look like the Bin Laden portrayed by our numerous media outlets in the USA.
Acting coaches, like Daniel Pipes and Rita Katz, full time employees of MOSSAD, will be on hand to help with the actor's performance.
If you like working in a fast paced field, in an environment that will test your acting skills, then apply today at the nearest Israeli Embassy or contact in person, MOSSAD HQS located in Herzliya, Israel.
Terrorists could use explosives in breast implants to crash planes, experts warn
Sounds like someone is getting desperate. Like the someones behind 9/11. The ones still at large, many of whom are in DC this week.
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5 comments:
Hey GB,..Hot and spicy yeah, serve it up to the bastards mate.
Cheers,
PG.
Hey bet you thought I had given up the ghost! Just busy and hope you are enjoying the spring my friend.
This piece was very cute and amusing and sadly oh, so true. Sort of on the level as the panty bomber farce. You know amazing how few people even CARED that that was a farce. Or let it even blip on their fading consciousness.
I thought the last link about breast implants was a joke and laughed until it took me to source. DEAR LORD, does that make any place women congregate dangerous?
No more clubbing for you!
They're just getting desperate to keep the Bin Laden and the 'official' 9/11 story alive.
hahaha
nice work Greg
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