Goon Squad

Where Brains are Tenderly Washed, Disinfected and Made Usable Again

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Pope Beatifies Patron Saint of Pedophiles

Vatican City--The Holy See announced this week that Pope Benny was inducting into sainthood Rod Steele, a notorious 18th Century sodomizer of little boys.

His Most Holy Protector of Priestly Pedophiles, former Boston Cardinal Bernard Law, said his Eminence would officially introduce 'Saint Rod' at an altar boy induction ceremony held tonight in the papal bedroom.

"The great part about showing our 'Rod' to the world is that the altar boys have to be on their knees praying, when asking forgiveness from God." said Law.

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Retired from a Central Missouri Fire Department in 2004 after 20 years of service to the community.