Friday, February 22, 2013

"What's Wrong with Our Little Tommy?"

I confess that my wife and I.... OK, the wife left last month, complaining about my drinking and the occasional black-eye, but these are stressful times.

We always gave Tommy everything he wanted and then some, and he's still a crabby, spoiled brat, who is pissing off everyone he knows. Friends? Not sure he has any, but that's expected, since he spends most of his time playing some harmless video games that involve lots of shooting and various forms of violence, but it keeps him happy and entertained, sitting for hours on end, in front of the game console and his own TV monitor.

Tommy's well taken care of, I give him damn near everything he wants, starting three meals a day. His best meal of the day is probably breakfast, his favorite meal being two huge bowls of Kellogg's "Frosted Flakes." I admit, the damn stuff is filled with sugars and chemicals I can't pronounce, but if he doesn't get it, he gets mad as hell and that's no way to start the day, P.O.'d at the world.

Then it's off to school, with me playing chauffeur. We can't have Tommy walking the 1/2 mile to school, good grief, we're not monsters! Besides, a 12 year old has better ways to spend his time than walking to school.

The school he attends seems to be filled with caring teachers, but even they complain to me during parent-teacher sessions that Tommy is crabby, insolent and hard to handle and gets into fights. They even suggested he get some counseling, but I'm a man and Tommy's going to be raised a man and he don't need no 'head shrinker' to play with his mind. Hells Bells, getting into fights as a kid is part of growing up to be a man, even got into a few myself in my younger days.

I've even took time off from work to be with Tommy at school during the day and a couple of times, even ate lunch at the school. I guess you'd call it lunch, not really sure what the hell it was. Some kind of mystery meat, along with instant mashed potatoes and corn. But the best part was the huge chunk of Blackberry Pie with Ice Cream. Tommy agreed, as he only nibbled at his meal, but devoured the desert.

Since it's a long time between lunch and supper, I always give Tommy at least a five dollar bill each day, so he can buy some snacks if he wants to. He usually spends it buying a large soda and a candy bar or two to wolf down to keep him energetic in the afternoon. Besides, if he doesn't get some sweets in the afternoon, he gets moody and life's too short for that shit.

Since the wife is no longer around, there's no one at home to meet Tommy when he gets home from school, but he's 12 and nearly a man, so I told him he could take care of himself. I always keep plenty of ice cream, cookies and soda at the house, in case my little buddy wants to snack a little while playing his favorite video game.

I usually get home around 6, and I can tell Tommy is happy to see me, since he's so energetic he's nearly bouncing off the ceiling! Since I'm usually too tired to cook anything, we either go out to McDonald's and get a Happy Meal or I just pop something in the microwave.

Then it's off to watch some videos on the DVR. I tend to like tough guy movies, with the hero not taking any shit off anyone and leaving a string of corpses from here to eternity. Shit, I enjoy watching the fantastic special effects with the guns blowing away some fool and the brains being splattered on the walls.

Tommy really enjoys these kind of videos, when he watches them, he's almost in a trance, intently staring at the screen.

Of course, we always have a sweet snack before we retire for the night, with the favorite being ice cream and cake. Mmmmm.

So you see, I have given Tommy everything in life he wanted, so why is he now pointing my loaded GLOCK at my forehead?

1 comment:

  1. Some Mommas make this Dad look like Father of the Year!


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