Saturday, September 15, 2007

Israeli PM vows to "Wipe Iran off the Map"

Tel Aviv, Israel— Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert declared Tuesday that Iran is a "disgraceful blot" that should be "wiped off the map"and banished from the pages of time.

Olmert's speech to participants at a "World without Islam" conference set a hard-line foreign policy course that continues the saber-rattling of his predecessor, Ariel Sharon.

Olmert pledged to continue on in the hallowed tradition of the Stern Gang who set siege to the Palestinian city of Acre in 1948, going so far as to poison the town's drinking water to kill off the inhabitants.

"The world should know, thundered Olmert, that Israel will take any steps necessary to bring about our goals, including invoking the Sampson Option."

Olmert also condemned Iran's neighbors which seek to break new ground in their relations with Iran. "Anybody who does business with Iran will burn in the fire of Yahweh's fury," state-run television quoted him as saying.

The White House issued a press release stating that Israel should use any means at its disposal to keep the land stolen from the indigenous Palestinians.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, (D) California, was unavailable for comment due to her being hospitalized for a reaction to using extreme amounts of Botox.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, (D), Las Vegas, was also unavailable for comment due to his month long tour of Israel sponsored and paid for by AIPAC.


  1. roflmao, are you serious? Nancy pelosi was hospitalized for using too much botox? hahahahaha serves the bitch right, hopefully it's permanent damage.

  2. Uhhh, this was designed to be satire, but some blogs picked it up and ran with it as a regular story.

    It even was broadcast on some 'Net radio show before they finally figured out it was satire.

    It might be satire, but it's not that far from the truth.


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