"Uhhhh, uhhh.... FOX is a news channel? Damn, I dun thought my cable company made a mistake and was giving me a soft core porn channel for free!!
"But you say it's an actual news channel and the FBI says I should watch Glenn, the rodeo clown and alcoholic? Why? I'd much rather watch the morning news on FOX where they always have a hot-lookin' blonde babe siting front and center with a skirt hiked up so high you can almost see her.... And the camera guy always points the lens right at her thighs so me and millions of others like me can fondle our crotch and fantasize about hot sex with some gorgeous smokin' hot blonde who would just do ANYTHING to please me and wouldn't say anything about my beer gut that's the size of Buick or my slovenly appearance.
The FBI Tells Americans to Watch Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh for REAL NEWS